I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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