I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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