Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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