I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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