I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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