period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
