By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
