I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My ATM looks so different sober.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
