okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
