Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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