im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
