Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
