I love black thongs
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
