yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
