You really coming over, don't trick.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
