we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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