i love accidental penises.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
