Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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