Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
