I wish I only lived at night.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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