i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
