I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
