he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
