well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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