there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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