I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
