i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
