Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
