therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
