Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
