Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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