Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
