oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
