am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
