Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
