this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
