If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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