that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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