Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
