Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
