What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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