i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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