Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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