woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
