Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
