member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize