My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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