Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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