I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
