How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
