I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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