Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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