So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
