I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
