im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
