I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
