I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
