I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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