Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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