what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
