There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
sex in a hospital.. check
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
