Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My bed smells like the plague
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
