whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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