OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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