Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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