I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My bed smells like the plague
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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