i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
