just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
