Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
