im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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