If that was your dad, he is hot
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
